Nutcase Page 4

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m being evicted from my office because of the explosion.”

  Thad frowned. “That was two months ago.”

  “I managed to convince my landlord to give me an extension.”

  “Meaning you did your fake crying act.”

  “A girl has to do what a girl has to do. I’ve got until Friday at five p.m. to get out.”

  “Damn, that’s four days from now! Where are you moving?”

  “Dunno, Thad. Do you have any idea what it costs to lease a decent office these days?”

  He tossed his napkin aside and leaned forward on his elbows. “This is my fault. I wish I’d never referred George Moss to you. I wish neither of us had ever laid eyes on him.”

  I shrugged. “Hey, like you said, I’m the one who lost my temper and threw the vial of nitroglycerin against the wall. Nobody forced me.”

  “You would never have done it if you had known Moss was serious. I should have called the police the day he brought it into my office,” he said. “I acted irresponsibly, Kate, and I can’t apologize enough for getting you involved.”

  “I’m just thankful he’s not my patient anymore,” I said. I finished my chili dog.

  “What does Jay say about the office?”

  “He doesn’t know. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

  Thad looked pleased. “That says a lot, Kate. It shows that you trust me.”

  “You won me over with the chili dog.”

  Thad sipped his drink in silence and I polished off my chips and his. “Actually, this couldn’t have happened at a better time,” he said. “At least for me,” he added. “I’ve been looking for a psychologist to share my office.”

  I glanced at him. “See, that’s the reason I didn’t tell Jay or Mona. I don’t want a handout. I don’t want people feeling I need to be rescued.”

  “Who said anything about rescuing you?”

  “I’m thinking I should apply at the mental health center. The pay isn’t so great, but I won’t have the overhead. Plus, they have a great insurance plan.”

  “You tried that, remember? Too many rules and regulations. Besides, I wouldn’t have mentioned wanting to bring in a psychologist if I weren’t serious.”

  “Yeah, right.” I sucked down the last of my soft drink.

  “You know I don’t have time for talk therapy. It’s all I can do to keep up with my patients’ meds, not to mention trying to stay on top of the latest studies and trials and warnings.”

  I knew Thad’s job was not as easy as I sometimes made it out to be. One drug might prove beneficial to tens of thousands of patients, only to be snatched off the market by the FDA at a moment’s notice if a handful of patients suffered adverse reactions. Sometimes it took days or weeks to find the right medication and dosage for a patient.

  “I couldn’t afford the parking at your place,” I said.

  “You could if you had a better clientele,” he pointed out.

  I looked at him. “You’re serious?”

  “It’s the perfect plan. And I’d feel less guilty over George Moss.”

  I had to smile at the earnest look on his face. “I don’t know, Thad. I sort of like making you feel guilty. I must be turning into my mother.”

  “I’m talking about a business arrangement, Kate. I’d insist on having my attorney draw up a contract. You would agree to see a certain number of my patients for talk therapy to cover part of the rent, and you would still have plenty of time to build your own practice.” He paused. “You would be treating people who actually pay their bills.”

  I must’ve looked stunned, because he sat back in his chair as though giving me space to think. “You don’t have to make up your mind this minute,” he said. “You probably will want to pass it by Jay first.”

  I did not want to discuss Jay with Thad. “I appreciate the offer, Thad,” I said, “but I need to find a place where I can take Mona with me. We’re a team.”

  “There is plenty of room to add another desk in the reception room,” he said. “Mona and Bunny would get along great.”

  “Bunny?”

  “My new receptionist. She’s hot.”

  “Does Bunny know how to use a computer?”

  “She doesn’t have to.”

  I chuckled. “Same old Thad.”

  “You could change me, you know.”

  “I’d need a big gun.”

  He checked his wristwatch. “If I hurry, I can still get in a little tennis. Would you mind?” He reached for the tray.

  I shooed him away. “Go play tennis,” I said. “I’ll clean up.”

  “Don’t forget my offer.” He stood, kissed the top of my head, and hurried off.

  I sat there for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. I should have told Jay about the eviction. Being evicted was no small thing, and Jay was still sort of like a husband. I regretted that I’d kept it to myself, because now it would be even more difficult to tell him. I tried to rehearse in my mind how I would break it to him, but I was interrupted when someone called my name.

  I looked up to find an acquaintance, Carter Atkins, standing beside the table with a tray. “Hello, Carter,” I said. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

  I knew I had to get going, but I didn’t want to appear rude. Carter was an orderly at the hospital, as well as a volunteer fireman. He was in his late thirties and reminded me of the actor John Malkovich. “Have a seat,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I only have a few minutes. I have to get back to the office.”

  He took the chair across from me and began unwrapping his sandwich, eyeing me as he did so. “You’re looking good, Kate,” he said. “Heard you and Jay got a divorce.”

  I knew there were no secrets in the fire department, but I was put off by Carter’s bluntness. “It happens to the best of us,” I said. I smiled, gathered my purse closer, and reached for the tray.

  “I know what it’s like being alone. Except for having my mother around, of course, but she’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s so she fades in and out.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know.” He shrugged. “You’ve never been married?”

  “No. I never found anyone I thought could get along with Mother.” He leaned closer. “Guess what? I’m studying for the fireman’s exam.”

  “That’s wonderful,” I said.

  “I figure that with as much time as I spend at the station, I might as well be on the payroll, you know?” He smiled for the first time. “Hey, you should see the new probie.”

  A probie was the same thing as a new recruit. “What’s he like?” I asked.

  “He’s a she. A real babe,” he added, “and don’t think she doesn’t know it.”

  “When did she start?”

  “Couple of weeks ago. You ask me, she’s a pain in the butt.”

  I couldn’t hide my surprise. Jay had not mentioned her.

  “We got in a guy from Texas about the same time. He’s got a lot of experience compared to the new girl. Did I mention she’s stacked?”

  I was having mixed reactions to the news. Jay usually shared what went on at the station. I knew most of the guys, as well as the women, by name. It sort of proved how distant he’d become over the past few weeks. I felt bummed out as I checked the time.

  “I’m not surprised he forgot to mention it to you,” Carter said. “There have been a rash of fires in the past few days that look kind of suspicious.”

  “Arson?” I asked.

  “Looks that way. Same MO. You know what that means.”

  I nodded. It meant there was a serial arsonist. “Do they have any suspects?”

  Carter shook his head. “Whoever is setting the fires knows what he’s doing.”

  My day had just gotten even worse. “I have to get back to the office.”

  I started to get up, but Carter put his hand on mine. “Listen, you ever need someone to talk to, I’m your guy.�
�

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m serious. The problem with most people today is they don’t take the time to care about others. I’m not that way. I don’t like it when people are hurting.”

  “I’m fine, Carter,” I said.

  He released my hand, and I said good-bye. I carried the tray to the trash can and dumped the garbage. I glanced Carter’s way and found him watching me. I tried to ignore the strange sensation in my stomach as I hurried on.

  He sure was an odd bird.

  chapter 3

  I arrived at my office with time to spare before my next patient. Mona was on the phone. She didn’t look happy. “I can’t believe you’re canceling another date,” she said to the person on the other end.

  Obviously, she was talking to her boyfriend, Liam, a medical intern and hunk. Liam was younger than Mona, but he didn’t know it because she’d lied about her age. She covered her lie with Botox.

  “I have to go,” she said. She hung up.

  “Problems?” I asked.

  “I’m tired of making plans only to have Liam cancel at the last minute. I think he’s losing interest.”

  “I doubt it,” I said.

  “I think he’s got something going with one of those young nurses. They follow him around like puppies.” She sighed. “Let’s change the subject. Did you get Psycho Woman admitted to the hospital?”

  “She is resting comfortably, thanks to good drugs. I need to schedule a time to see her every day. Maybe at lunch,” I said.

  Mona checked the appointment book she kept on her desk. “That’ll work.”

  I sat in one of the chairs. “We need to talk,” I said. “Actually, I should have had this conversation with you a couple of months ago.”

  “Is this about the eviction notice?”

  “You know about that?”

  “Everybody in the building knows, and they think it stinks. They started a petition, but your jerk landlord ignored it. He’s probably planning to raise the rent for the next occupant.”

  I felt mortified that word had gotten around to the other tenants. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

  “I was waiting for you to say something. I’ve waited two whole months.” She paused. “This is the first time I’ve known you to keep secrets from me.”

  “I was embarrassed,” I admitted. “I’ve never been evicted.”

  “I’ve been kicked out of worse places than this. Of course, that was before I married Mr. Moneybags. Millionaires don’t get kicked out of places.”

  Mona had referred to her late husband, Henry Epps, as Mr. Moneybags even when he was alive. He’d thought it cute. But then, Mona had loved him despite his being much older. Plus, she claimed it was easier to get naked with a man twenty years her senior.

  “You were too embarrassed to tell me?” Mona said. “I’m supposed to be your best friend.”

  “I knew you’d try to bail me out. It’s my responsibility to take care of it.” I paused. “I haven’t even told Jay.”

  “When do you plan to tell him? Before or after we’re kicked out on the street?”

  “I told you how critical he has been since the . . . um, mishaps two months ago. I didn’t want to give him more ammunition.”

  “Can you blame him for being worried?” she asked. “He wants you to be safe.”

  “I’m a lot safer than he is,” I muttered. “I don’t purposefully run into burning buildings.”

  “So where are we going to move?”

  “We have a couple of options. The first one isn’t really that desirable, but it’s cheap.”

  “What makes it undesirable?”

  “I think the bars on the doors and windows might scare prospective patients.”

  “What’s the other option?”

  I hesitated. “Thad Glazer offered to share his suite of offices.”

  Mona stopped me with one hand. “Wait, I think I misheard you. You were too embarrassed to tell Jay or me about the eviction, but you told Thad? And you’re willing to let him help you and not the two people closest to you?”

  “I had no intention of telling Thad,” I said, understanding why Mona might be hurt. “It just came out while we were having lunch.”

  “You had lunch with Thad?”

  “We had hot dogs at the hospital. Try not to read anything into it, okay? It’s strictly business,” I added. “He claims he has been looking to get a psychologist in his office. You know Thad hates listening to people’s problems.”

  “Yeah, he can be shallow.”

  “It would a good career move. I’d actually have patients who paid their bills.”

  Mona looked thoughtful. “I can definitely see the benefits, as long as Thad doesn’t try to hump you.”

  “He’s hot for his receptionist, Bunny.”

  “Oh jeez. Thad is the only guy I know who would hire somebody named Bunny.” Mona was quiet for a moment. “Well, this is probably a good time to tell you that I was planning on giving my notice, anyway. I’ve decided to go to nursing school.”

  I felt my jaw drop. “Wow,” I managed to say after a minute.

  “Amazing, huh?” she said. “After all these years, I finally found my calling.”

  “Wow,” I repeated.

  “It hit me right out of the blue.”

  I was still trying to wrap my head around it. “Does this have anything to do with all those cute young nurses you mentioned?”

  “I’ll admit the thought crossed my mind, but I’ve sort of been trying to find my purpose in life. Everybody needs a purpose. Besides, the mall no longer holds my interest.”

  I had a sudden image of hell freezing over.

  “And just think. I could wear those cute little uniforms and have lunch with Liam every day. We’d have more in common if I became a nurse. Maybe I could volunteer in the meantime.”

  “When would you start classes?”

  “After the first of the year,” she said. “I plan to hire a tutor to help me prepare for the entrance exam. But I catch on fast.”

  That much was true. I’d taught Mona the computer basics after she’d offered to come in and answer my phone as a favor, and before long she’d become an expert at online shopping. Still, I couldn’t imagine her sticking an IV into a patient any more than I could imagine her buying sheets with a thread count of less than 1200.

  “Have you told Liam?”

  “I want to surprise him.” She smiled. “So, are you going to accept Thad’s offer?”

  “I’m still thinking about it, but I don’t have a lot of choices.”

  “Who is going to pack up this place and move it?”

  “I need to form a plan.”

  “I hope it’s a really fast plan,” Mona said.

  “I should probably tell Jay first.”

  She arched both brows. “You think?”

  I arrived home with a bag of fast food and climbed from my car, but I didn’t make it far before I heard a voice calling my name. I winced. I knew that voice. I turned and found my neighbor, Bitsy Stout, standing across the street with her hands on her hips, looking like she was ready for a bullfight. Bitsy and I had a history. It was not good.

  I gave her my best fake smile. Her blue gray hair had been curled and lacquered into place so that not even tornado winds would muss it. “Hello, Bitsy,” I said. “You’re looking well.”

  “Cut the sweet talk. I found two piles of dog poop in my yard this morning,” she said, her tone accusatory.

  “Gee, and all I got was a lousy newspaper.”

  “I am tired of cleaning up after that ugly dog of yours.”

  I crossed the street and got in her face. “Don’t call my dog ugly.”

  “Then you keep that mutt out of my yard or I’m going to report you for not adhering to the leash laws.”

  “My dog is not pooping your yard,” I said.

  “It’s people like you, renters, who give good solid neighborhoods a bad name.”

  “It’s not my fault that nobo
dy but riffraff wants to live across the street from you,” I said. Bitsy had made my life miserable after my mom and aunt had designed a sculpture for my front flower bed. Bitsy had declared it pornographic, and the next thing I knew she had her holy-rolling church group picketing on my lawn. I’d agreed not to press charges in return for her sour cream crumb cake recipe, but she had yet to hand it over.

  “If I catch your dog in my yard I’m going to shoot her with my pellet gun,” she added.

  “I dare you,” I said, using what I considered my most menacing voice. “You don’t want to go to jail, Bitsy. Do you know what they do to blue-haired ladies in jail?” Her eyes widened. “Put that in your pellet gun,” I said.

  I turned and marched across the street to my house. I was actually looking forward to seeing the dog in question. Mike was a small wirehaired mixed terrier with huge brown eyes. She’d followed me home from a walk two and a half months ago. There had been no collar so I’d assumed she was a stray. I had tagged her with the name Mike before checking down under. Being a sucker for animals, I’d let her inside during the night when a bad storm blew in, only to awake the next morning to find that she had birthed five puppies.

  I had recently found a home for the last puppy, and Mike wasn’t taking it well. She was clearly depressed. Instead of greeting me happily the minute I walked through the door, as she once had, I found her sleeping in her box in the laundry room.

  “Guess what?” I said. I held up the bag. “Junk food!” I announced. “I even got you your own burger.”

  Mike opened her eyes, climbed from her box, and headed toward the back door. Jay had installed a doggie door so that she could go out when she needed. Luckily, my backyard was fenced in so I didn’t have to worry about her wandering off. It was probably the only reason Mike hadn’t run away in search of her puppies.

  I unwrapped her cheeseburger, which I’d ordered plain, as I waited for her to return. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist this,” I said when she rejoined me. I held it close to her nose. “Yum-yum,” I said.

  She sniffed it a few times but lost interest and returned to her bed. I was at a loss as to what to do. She’d barely touched her food for a week. In fact, she’d done little more than sleep.